BREAKING HEARTS

One thing that us with alcohol or drug problems do, is break our loved ones' hearts.  Our family, friends, anyone close enough.  We just say and do these things while under the influence, that we'd never say otherwise.  And we come out of the fog and realize this, it breaks our hearts too.  During the last binge, I hurt someone who is very very dear to me, and one of my favoritest people of all time.  And a week ago, when my mind could think somewhat clearly, I realized I hurt her, and a tear ran down my cheek, and then another...   Because she means very much to me.  Realizing I hurt her feels worse than breaking my heart, it feels like tearing my soul.